My Middle Name is Ruth

3.....2......1....

2007-06-11T14:56:00.000-07:00

(cue explosion)

.....And I have taken my first test in PA school.

To tell you how it was, I need to first describe how a normal test taking experience is for me. Usually, when I study, I blast through the material, organizing it in a storm and drilling it into my head. Then I poop out pretty fast, and by the time the test day or even the eve before a big test occurs I don't even want to see the material anymore. Usually the material is as afixed in my head as it will ever be by that time. When I take the test, I can navigate the questions effectively and often leave feeling confident I mastered the concepts covered on the test.

This test did not go that way. I mean the first part about the studying rampage and the pooping out did happen. The actual test was a little hairy. Ok not hairy, it was big foot.

There were more than a few questions I felt sure I had no ability to answer. No amount of hashing over material I had memorized (and folks, I had memorized it all) could clue me into the answer. I couldn't even tell with what specific information I could use to draw a conclusion to answer these questions. So I left a little down and worried. Remember, we really can't get "C"'s.

Then we all went to On the Border and after my mucho margherita I felt a little better.

A little perspective

2007-06-04T11:40:00.000-07:00

I went to the cadaver lab for the first time today. I know I am all big talk about loving the anatomy, but I had a moment where I felt a little lightheaded. It was suprising to me. I think it was just hard to see this body on the table and realize that this was a person and now.....well it was just hard to adjust.

I don't think this summer is going to be too overwhelming. The lectures are right in line with the reading and it isn't like a dumping of information. My professor is quite endearing. He is older and has taught Anatomy for 15 years. He tells stories of his son (who is a Marine), grandson, wife, and daughter with pride and love.

So since the class hasn't been taking up much time yet, I have been watching tv. Like a bum I sat all day watching Deadliest Catch. I think I caught almost the entire second season. For those of you who haven't seen this great show, it is a reality show documenting 5 boats in their race to fish Alaskan King Crab in the Bering sea. These men work almost non-stop (20-40 hour stretches at times) in terrible weather doing extrememly physical work until they meet their quota. The "pots" as they call them are 1000 lbs cages controlled by hydraulics. They are loaded with chopped up herring as bait, and then lowered strategically into the ocean. They let them sit for 20-36 hours and then bring them back up. When the fishing is good, despite wind, storm, and lack of sleep, the captain pushes the men work until all the pots are placed or brought up. It is brutal. I am pretty sure I would cry a lot if I was on the boat. Even if all I had to do was sit in the cabin below.

PA school isn't so bad.

We are living in a digital world and I am a digital girl

2007-06-02T17:33:00.000-07:00

Ok.....

Here is the evidence that I have joined the digital revolution. Yes ,I bought a digital camera, one of my many life changing events in Wichita, Ks. The lovely prop you see slung around my neck is a "caribbean blue" litman stethescope. We had to buy a bunch of medical equipment, and I still have the bulk of it to buy, but I got this and a pen light on Friday. Oh the excitement.

Actually Friday was a bit overwhelming. It was orientation, so basically for 8 hours we sat in a classroom (the only classroom I will see for a year) and listened to the next two years of our life fly by in a very loud "whoosh". My favorite part was when we all got up and introduced ourselves and included a fun little fact. Lots of people said they were cooks, or obsessive about picture frames, or just got back from their honeymoon (seriously that was a very common factoid). I closed with the fact I like to salsa dance, you know just in case there was a closet dancer in the bunch. Probably not. And most of my lovely classmates are married, even the younger ones. But I liked everyone, and we are all in this together so I am excited to get to know everyone.

My actual class (human anatomy) starts Monday. We go everyday from 8-12. And we have a test every Monday. So there go my weekends. That's ok though. I am going out tonight to experience Old Town. A girl who Linds (my roomate) knew from high school lives close by and I have gotten to spend some time with her. So we are going to "The Loft" where, I am told by my new hairstylist Lauren, there is a cover band and it has great dancing. So yay!

Linds has been studying like crazy, because she takes her boards in 3 days. So I have been trying to be quiet and scarce so she can concentrate. I have taken off by myself to explore Wichita a bit. However, I have this unfortunate inability to navigate. So even in this grid-like town, I end up going the wrong way and constantly making U-turns. It's a little embarrassing. It's opposite of Kansas City in the way numbered streets are arranged. The numbers go up when you are going North. You think I could just remember that fact and make my way, but there are named streets randomly between numbered streets and by the time I have reminded myself of the orientation of Wichita I am already a good mile the wrong way.

Oh I wanted to show you guys my house. So here are some photos of my kitchen, living room, linds studying, and finally the bookcase.:)

Little beginnings...

2007-05-28T12:12:00.000-07:00

Ok I am posting for what is like the seventh time. I am sorry I just haven't been good about it. But I have a feeling it is about to get better. That is, my frequecy of blogging will increase, the quality (and I think you will all agree) is already at its peak. The reasons I have for this "feeling" are three-fold.

1) Internet will be only a click away, as I am getting wireless at my house in Wichita tomorrow. We are also getting cable, so I will have access to more than just NBC this year.

2) There is lots to tell. Already I have had many adventures (they will be discussed later in the blog--perhaps via another list)

3) I don't know anyone in Wichita yet. My connection with my friends is like a thin rope stretched to a fraying point due to the distance it must cover. Am I being a little dramatic?

Ok so there you have it. Now on to the rest of the story. So I moved to Wichita on Friday and it was probably one of the most difficult moves I have ever experienced. I blame most of the challenge on the fact that I have had some virulent form of tonsilitis for the past week, most likely contracted in the Bahamas. Packing, moving, and swallowing were all very difficult. But with the help of friends, (Tommy, Tim) mom, dad, and the Abbotts we got everything done. Our house is gorgeous and so spacious. It is a two bedroom duplex. The bedrooms are upstairs along with the only bathroom. But the bathroom is gigantic. And all the light fixtures and appliances (including sinks, refrigerator, tile, and cabinets) are new. There are tons of windows and lots of storage space in our basement. Linds has been studying non-stop since we got here so I have done a lot of the organizing and decorating myself. That is a first for me. Usually I am the one that comes home from Walmart after moving in and my roomates have already alocated a spot for everything. We have a lovely bookshelf built into the wall in the living room and I adore the look it gives to the room. We have it completely filled between Linds and me.

I met my landlord the day I moved in and found out he actually graduated from PA school at WSU. He now works at the hopsital as an ER physician. He also founded and leads the only international rotation WSU offers PA students. Every spring they go down to Bolivia for a month. They only take 4 students. I am so going! I mean, I hope I get to go.

School starts Monday, but orientation is Friday. I already have a reading assignment to be done before Monday. I am only taking one class this summer. Human Anatomy. Luckily we don't have to dissect, the medical students do that. That gives me more time to just study the body instead of working to display the parts. I am very excited to begin, and I like to imagine how it is going to feel walking into that classroom for the first time feeling like I am where I belong. I have been to the PA classroom twice before. Once for an information session, once for an interview. Both times the room was foreign and daunting. Now it is mine. I am so excited.

on a more serious note....

2007-02-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

Ok so....I got in! To PA school that is. I applied to 3 schools thinking surely I will get into one of them. I was right. I got into one. :) I think it was in the middle of the interview process at OHSU when I realized that most everyone else applied to at least 3 schools. There was slight panic on my part. But the Lord is good and I didn't get the rejection letter from OHSU until after I was accepted at WSU. And Tiffany bought me tulips! How amazing is my roomate!

So I have taken immediate action to prepare for PA school. Number 1 action was dropping Organic Chem as I only needed it to go to OHSU. That felt good. But my lab partner was a little disappointed. We were a great pair (of chem nerds). Number 2 action is writing an acceptance letter to the offer to attend WSU. This was more difficult than I thought it would be. What more is there to say except "I accept" "thank you" and "I'll see YOU in June". I tried to add more fluff but you know me. Suffice it to say, the letter is short (we're talking like circus midget short). Whatev. Number 3 action is to aquire all the financial aid I can get. Shouldn't be too hard once I get the ball rolling. For all of you that have never done this, and I can't imagine who hasn't, it involves first getting your taxes done, then filling out a FAFSA sheet online with all your tax information. Then you wait for a week or two to get what they call an EFC (estimated family contribution). Mine will be $0.00. Then I have to find a lender. Luckily, I say this toungue-in-cheek, I already have a lender. Remember grad school? Then I have to convince them that I need to defer my already aquired lones and ask them to give me more.:) No sweat.

Meanwhile, I am enjoying having free time. I plan to spend more time journaling these next 3 months. I realized that journaling, while feeling like a chore sometimes, is the best way for me to process though my endless barage of questions and random thoughts. I am currently in a small group through Christ Church and we are discussing Grace. I realized that I don't have a good position on this anymore. I feel like I used to, but it has eluded me. Our discussion a couple Sunday's ago was very somber. At least I felt that everything I said was cynical. How the heck does Satan do this? I used to be so full of life and sure that the story of my life was beautiful through Grace.

I know that part of my problem was lack of time and energy to tackle all the questions that pop into my head everyday. When I can combat doubts with truth and prayer, I can sort through the swamp of confusion. So this really is a perfect study for me, and I am thanking God that he has given me this next 3 months of school free time. I hope to spend more time with all of you wondeful people too. So call me.

erin

update, update....read all about it.

2007-01-08T08:22:00.000-08:00

So people want an update. And by people I mean Doug and Lindsay. Thank you my people for demanding excellence.

So I will update you all. My life is filled with so much motion and event, that I cannot just write about it. I must format my update in list form. Here is the stuff of my life in no particular temporal order.

1) Think I am dealing with a chronic sinus infection as my headache extends in to my teeth when I wake up.

2) Got a B in Chem II. This was lucky due to my sickness and complete apathy while taking the final.

3) Decided to run in a relay run "Brew to Brew". We start at Boulevard Brewery in KC and run to Free State Brewery in Lawence. I must be able to run 4 miles by April 1st.

4) Starting to get sentimental with my friends while the knowledge of my moving away in 5 months permeates my days.

5) Due to #4, have started trying to spend as much time with said friends as I can. Also important to note, if we are hanging out and I start to tear up thinking about leaving you...it won't hurt if you do too.

6) Started watching 24. It is taking over my life. But as Tiff is obsessed with Jack Bauer, I am into Chase Edwards. He is the young cute protege of Bauer.

7) Drink a lot of coffee.

8) Work. work and more work.

9) Bought a satee (a wicker love seat that was insanely on clearance), which Tommy and Doug mistakenly pronounced Shitee. The next day Tommy spent the day cleaning up an overloaded sewer system in his house. The curse of the wicker couch is a bitch.

That is all I have done lately.
Hope it brought all of you up to speed. (All= Doug, Lindsay)

Twoo Wuv.....

2006-11-15T10:17:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Ok I just got back from Portland last Saturday and I am in love. I am in love with a landscape. The good thing about being in love with a location rather than a person, is it's a bit less of a risk. True there is some vulnerability in this affection. The city may choose to poop on me with crappy weather or an unsavory citizen, but I feel that if I am going to commit I have to accept it's faults with it's brilliance.

So there you are. My heart is on my sleeve.

I am now awaiting the interview feedback. I could possibly hear in as soon as 3 days or...y'know February. Whatever. I am trying to not to get my hopes up. I think moving there might be the most adventurous thing I have ever done. And did I mention my feelings for the place? (the all consuming infatuation)...I did? Ok. Well there's that. And finally..the school. It is prestigeous. A couple of the girls I interviewed with had just interviewed at Duke (the #1 pa school) yet OHSU was their first choice. Hmmm. So I had a bit of competition. They still have over 100 aplicants to interview too. Hmmmmmmm.

But I will say that I was funny, and just generally a good time. And really that's all the schools are looking for. Right? Hmmmmm.

D to the ORK

2006-11-02T14:05:00.000-08:00

Chemistry is great. It is a lot of work, but I think it is one of the most worthwhile classes I have ever taken. It is so relevant. For instance, I have learned this semester in Chem 2, why the sky is blue and sunsets aren't, why Milk of Magnesium is used for a laxative, why the Lucitania blew up, what a catalay converter is and it's history, why grain elevators spontaneously combust, how people die from scuba diving, and recently how vitamin K is important for hemopheliacs. (if anyone wants more details on any of the information listed, I have great explainations...some have illustrations.)

How could you not find this interesting? Tiffany, go ahead...make your case. But truly I think I love the class so much because of my professor. Mr. Lehman. If you ever go to jccc, take a class with him. Or just talk to him. Another chemist in our department, rated this man as "4 cupcakes on the cupcake scale". He's just infectiously happy and excited about teaching and talking about Chemistry. It makes the class fun.

Ok so I am really enjoying Chemistry.
But I have to say I would not make a good chemist. Why you might ask. Here are my list of reasons why if I am alone in a chem lab, there better be some firefighters on their way in.

Number 1. I have spilled a toxic solution on a bench top, and while traveling over to the hazardous waste container to dump the rest, spilled all the solution over me and right outside the hazardous waste container.

Number 2. Sometimes I guestimate how much to mix. And I will ask" does everything have to be so freaking precise?"

Number 3. Turns out it does

Number 4. Mixing solutions up in a test tube, does not mean putting finger over the top and inverting tube. Very bad idea.

Number 5. And finally becuase I believe that any true scientist to analyze his specimen must use all 5 senses. That includes taste. Chemists tend to frown on that technique.

What's Under Your Trenchcoat?

2006-10-16T14:28:00.000-07:00

People are great. And sometimes they suck. I am constantly struck by the truth of Lori Chaffer's song Alone Everybody off the 1Beginning cd. If you haven't heard it, you should find some way to hear it. Basically, the lyrics present the human need for community in tandem with what I like to call the pain in the ass factor of having people around. Note* Lori Chaffer does not use that exact term to describe the disadvantages of community*.

Having people in our lives that truly know us is one of the scariest things I have experienced. I find myself constantly trying to avoid being known. When friends emphatically point out my flighty forgetful habits, or my habit of singing along with a songs I don't know more than 4 or 5 actual words to, or my sensitivity to harsh words, or my craving for more than one bowl of cookies and cream ice cream in the same evening, I feel exposed. This feeling of exposure translates into vulnerability and then creates insecurity. Why?

If we can really call it like it is. Reality in the kindgom of God should encourage us to be exposed. Because the ability of one person to unabashedly stand in front of others as themselves, quirks and all, the more we testify to one another of the love and security of God. God has created each of us so uniquely and with such creativity. And to think that all our disparites come to union in God's character says something about the vastness of Him. We can be assured that our tiny personality is encapsulated in one tiny speck of his immense being.

So eat your four bowls of cookies and cream ice cream. Snort when you laugh. Be clumsy and perpetually late. Go watch your science fiction dramas. Read about George Washington, and then tell all your friends why he was the most amazing man and president the United States has ever seen. Do it.

Expose yourself.

Beginning Number 1

2006-10-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

So, I broke down and started a blog. All of the persecution and mockery from those who are in the blogging world led me to start typing about myself on a daily basis for everyone to read. So I will give it a try. Often though, before I get really comfortable with a new task or sport I try I usually have to quit and start again several times.

Let's take Ultimate Frisbee for example. I hate this sport. Yet I try it again and again. And what do I prove? How completely inadequate my athletic ability is. But for all of those who understand this need to prove your inability in an area repeatedly, we know that there is another reason for returning to "the field" even though last time didn't go so well. (Let's recall the frisbee to the mouth incident.) I do convince myself of my perpetual ability to accept failure over and over. Which is not an ability to be discounted. You can face many a devestating suprise with this ability tucked under your belt. I have much practice, much "emotional muscle" primed and ready to contract and perform during moments that for all you amatures (the people who seems to float effortlessly through life and on the Ultimate Frisbee field) would render you helpless. There is my moment of glory. It feels almost as good as catching that freaking hard frisbee in the endzone while everyone cheers. The sport of surviving failures however usually produces less cheering, at least audibly. Sometimes I think I hear it. It may just be tinnitus.

So here is my beginning in the bloging world. I may fail at it, but like Paul, I count all my loss as gain. And I have included a picture of all of us on the Ultimate Frisbee field. A bunch of failure amateurs and me, i.e. a bunch of winners and me.